Monday, April 20, 2009

A Losing Battle

The numbers are alarming. The decline precipitous. The message self-evident. I am losing my readership.

My week begins Monday mornings with a review of the self congratulatory site to which I subscribe called Statcounter.com. If you thought the stock market was suffering a slump, think again. Not too long ago my daily readership peaked at close to 100 per day. This week, the average was 12. Even my son is getting bored with my writings and apologizes for being days behind in entering my blogosphere.

I have thought of going to different computers throughout the day, logging into my website and thus bolstering my sagging numbers. I long for recognition of my genius. However, even in my despair, I found a fleeting glimmer of hope.

I know it is not the NY Times, or Time Magazine, or even Chicken Soup for the Soul (I need to remind you constantly of my recent series of wild successes). Yet, when the editor of the newsletter for our apartment building called and asked my permission to reprint 2 of my pieces in next month's edition, I enthusiastically consented.

I conduct an internal calculation. There are 238 apartments. If there is an average of 2 persons in each apartment, there are 476 potential members into my personal hall of fame. If I discount my family, and the two other families in the building that I know subscribe to my site, if I discount the 30% or so that are in Florida for 6 months and never get the newsletter, if I subtract the 30% that throw the newsletter out as soon as it is placed under their doors, if the 10 or so who are too elderly to be able to read regular size print are removed from consideration, if I understand that of the remaining few there are some that will never bother to read my pieces while others may read them and find they are less than amusing, then I come to see the hoped for upswing in my personal Dow is not likely to transpire.

The realization of the limits of my notoriety, even within my building, quickly become evident. The editor says that he wanted to interview me, to present a little bio to go side by side with my pieces. However, he apologizes and states that the newsletter already contains interviews on 2 employees of the month and there is no room left for me. Maybe, he indicated, they could try to squeeze me in next month. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.


Anonymous said...

stop whining, keep writing (although some of your best writing seeoms to involve whining)


ps - you should send the Andy Rooney piece to 60 minutes (maybe even suggest a guest appearance -- Andy's getting old, at some point they'll need a replacement)

Robert said...

By coincidence, one of the pieces being published in the newsletter is the aforementioned Rooney post.

I do think that whining comes naturally to me. It is one of the most prominent aspects of my personality. Thank you for noticing.

Richie Jay said...

Posted today. Read today. Just so you should know. ;)

Richie Jay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richie Jay said...

Also, just to clear up some misunderstanding, you're using a mis-reading of the stats to make things appear much worse than they are. Without getting too technical, you have to stick to one stat, comparing apples to apples: total page loads or unique visitors. Just looking at unique visitors, your busiest weeks average about 30 per day, not 100. Even your slowest weeks crack the double digits, so the comparison of 100 to 10 is incorrect, using different figures. (To put this in English, it's like comparing batting average to on-base percent...it shall not be done!)

However, if you happen to be counting total page views, today happens to be one of the busier days in Too Early To Call's existence, already nearing 100.

mickey said...

I couldn't let you think you were going unread!

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth I still love your blog and continue look forward to reading your posts. Keep up the great work.


Robert said...

Thanks for the compliment. I aim to please.