Monday, December 13, 2010


My dad passed away 31 years ago today. I almost never hear mention of him these days. Most of his friends have passed away, or don't live in the area anymore. My mom has long since lost the ability to recall the details of the 34 years that she and my dad spent together. She now only occasionally speaks in oblique references, inserting 'him' into present day events.

I find myself looking forward to days like today so that I can bring him back to life, if only for the time it takes for me to recall him on my computer screen. It permits me to strike up a conversation, even for the briefest of moments, to let everyone know that my dad was here and made his mark upon this earth.

I have written to you on past anniversaries. I have told of my dad's exploits, of his passions and of how he has shaped my life.I understand that years can have a way of taking away the smudges, and leave only clean images, but my dad did not have to be scrubbed clean. There was not one instant in my life with my dad where I was ever ashamed of him, or unhappy with him. His presence was always something that made my day better.

I know that human beings are a fallible lot, and that mistakes are part of the overall equation. But not my dad. To regret nothing that was, but only that it couldn't still be is one of the great joys of my life.

I want my children, and their children, to remember someone they never knew. I want them to believe in the fairy tale and know, that at least for me, it was, and will forever be, the truth. I want them to know that greatness exists. I want them to strive to be the best. I want them to strive to be Richard Jay Nussbaum.


Richie Jay said...

In name, I've got a lock on that one. In legacy, I've got a lot of work to do.

Robert said...

There is MUCH for me to be proud of in the younger Richard Jay.

Anonymous said...

That's the way I remember him too, so I don't think your mind is playing any tricks on you. A truly great man, not only for your family but for ours as well, especially as a wonderful friend for my dad for so many years, but really a smiling presence for all of us. We were blessed to have "Uncle Dick" share our lives, even if it was cut way too short. Our thoughts and love are with you and Gail and, of course, Aunt Dot.

Marc, on behalf of all the Victors

Robert said...

Marc- I know we have forever shared a mutual admiration society for our respective fathers. Thanks so much for your words. They have special meaning to me.

Anonymous said...

Robert, you are not so bad either. Ted

SCL said...

All these years, thru Richie's entire life, I never realized that he was named after your dad. I guess there are still things that I don't know.


Anonymous said...

Your dad would have been equally proud of both you and Robbie. He is an extraordinary son and brother. Your devotion to your dad and mom has been and continues to be a testament to who you are as well. Whatever they did in raising their children seems to have been magical. I only hope we will be remembered for some of our magic!

Robert said...

Skip- We always say that the brains Richie got skipped a generation. I hope he inherited everything else that goes along with the name

Anonymous said...

J'ai appris des choses interessantes grace a vous, et vous m'avez aide a resoudre un probleme, merci.

- Daniel