Saturday, March 12, 2011

My (Imagined) Conversation with Frank

I recently submitted to the New York Times an ode lamenting the imminent departure of Frank Rich from the paper. To my surprise, within a matter of days I had received a thank you note from the Great One.

With little urging, I decided that this was an open invitation for us to begin a conversation about matters large and small. In my very best English, I provided the Great One with chapter and verse of my history as an esteemed writer. I invited him to review my letters in the Times (attaching each of them at the end of my email, to make his process that much easier), told him of my stories that had been published, and essentially set forth my resume as if I was applying for a job as his friend and confidant.

Yesterday, I checked my computer religiously throughout the day, hoping that Frank (I feel we are on a first name basis at this point in our relationship, even though he called me "Mr.Nussbaum" in his email) decided that on the last week of his job at the New York Times, with the world literally and figuratively exploding, the most important thing he could do was chat with me. Sadly, that did not happen. Today, as they say, is another day. Nothing yet, but still hoping.

And if that moment does occur, I know that we can talk about so much. His theater background will come in handy as we debate what can be done to save the flying disaster known as Spiderman. We will have a lengthy back and forth on the global economic quagmire. We will speak of the philosophical and psychological dimensions that attach to this President. We will talk of family, of the past and of our futures. The fluid meaning of democracy will also be addressed. Even A-Rod may be a subject we decide to touch upon. Our prose will be soaring one moment, and laughably not the next. It will be invigorating and inspiring.

However, until that day comes, I will just have to turn to the pages of New York magazine, the next stop along the way for the Great One, to discover what is on his mind. We could be such good friends, best friends really.


David B said...

I am sure he is busy packing his pencils and paper, has just not had the time to get back to you.

Shelley Kaplan said...

I will him miss him too...

Robert said...

After tomorrow I would guess he would have a hiatus until his next assignment. He should have plenty of time then to open up our dialogue.

Or maybe just to get that restraining order on me. Fantasy and reality are merely different aspects of the same spectrum.