Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Playing in Endless Loop

 I awoke in the pitch dark, startled and wide awake. In my mind was a single continuous repetitive refrain. It was 1:45 AM.

Earlier in the day I had watched a video from a Columbia University graduate school musical follies production. In it was a brilliant MBA parody of "I Believe" from the "Book of Mormon".  The original  tune was a statement of unquestioned devotion to the Mormon faith. It was evident to me the song about fervor-like belief had limitless alternative possibilities.

Like a record with a broken needle, one stanza kept playing in endless loop. I made my way down the stairs to the computer.

I wrote random words on a piece of paper. The theme, fanatical trust of some Republicans in often ludicrous positions espoused by their chosen, quickly became my focus.

The chorus continued its relentless assault. Several times I tip-toed ever so quietly up the steps, trying to distance myself from the sounds in my head, to no avail.

Night eventually gave way to day and those in the house awakened to the various drafts of my work that I had left for them throughout the very early morning hours.Their criticism was precise and clear. First, I was absolutely insane for losing most of a night's sleep in this undertaking. Further, this was not  remotely near the masterpiece that I had seen through the fog in my head. They were correct on both counts. And that should have been the end of this tale. But it wasn't.

Activity only diluted the ever present noise. At each opportunity  throughout the day I raced to write my edits and additions. And so it continued until bedtime last night. I worried that silence would never again find me.

When I tried to read the paper this morning, the tune still lingered.  I sit here now, having just completed my changes, with a pleading  note to myself, stating this was "Hopefully the final version". I must move on. Work, my family and the mountain beckon. Life is, after all, more than just a song parody. At least that is what "I Believe".

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