Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Every Day Fools

In a shockingly blunt written statement, unlike anything else in recent memory, the governors of Indiana and Arkansas today jointly declared as follows:
APRIL 1, 2015

"After days of rampant speculation and wild conjecture as to the meaning and intent of the laws in question, let us, for once, be perfectly forthright. Ours is a society of politeness and political correctness where we must say little and do our work by way of subterfuge and misdirection. One need look no further than our actions regarding voting rights as prime example of creating fictions and roadblocks to prevent those who would oppose us from doing so.

 Now we are faced with yet another situation in which we are asked point blank if a law is intended to discriminate against a class of people with whom we share nothing in common. And our answer is Yes.
We are tired of having to apologize for our beliefs and those of the vast majority of people we represent each and every day. We don't understand gay people, we don't share their positions and we don't want to pretend that we are happy to be of service to them. So, we are doing whatever we can to distance ourselves from any connection to those for whom we have no respect..

Tomorrow we will return to being  pompous, self righteous bigots hiding behind nuance and ambiguity to do our dirty deeds. But this one day, April Fool's day, we come out from under the rock to bring forth our true intentions. For what better moment than now to reveal ourselves to the world.

We are endowed with certain inalienable rights. Chief among them is the right to say what we think no matter how distasteful or disturbing. In making this joint declaration we are calling upon the wisdom and greatness of our founding fathers in allowing us the freedom to make fools of ourselves in a most public and profound manner.

Thank you, God bless you and God bless the United States of America."


Anonymous said...

April's Fool. Ted

Anonymous said...

Amen. Fool of Fools Tim Cook, who has no problem marketing Apple products in countries where gays and lesbians are routinely jailed or murdered doesn't have the good sense to keep his hypocritical mouth shut.