Saturday, September 17, 2016

New Top 10 - Revisionist History

A new top 10

1. George Washington - "OK, OK, I cut down that damn cherry tree, but it was about ready to fall anyway."

2. John Wilkes Booth - "I shot Lincoln but I was aiming at the mouse that was running across the floor."

3. Mark Sanford - "I was on the Appalachian Trail and then I took a detour to the house of some woman who invited me in to take a shower."

4. Bill Clinton - "I had sex with that woman, but it was her idea."

5. George Bush - "Read my lips. Maybe a few new taxes, but very small ones, so you won't even notice."

6. Bernie Madoff - "Maybe not 12 per cent, but at least 10, guaranteed."

7. Vladimir Putin - "We are not annexing Crimea. Those are not our soldiers, just some guys who made a wrong turn, and kind of got lost. Like Mark Sanford."

8. The tobacco industry - "Did we say smoking doesn't kill. I think we were misquoted."

9. Marco Rubio - "When I said I wasn't running again, I was merely stating that I had stopped jogging."

10. Donald Trump - "Hillary Clinton started this vile falsehood about our beloved President, and I put an end to it."

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