Saturday, January 14, 2017

Breaking News - Donald Trump to Rent Out the White House

In a startling development, President-elect Donald Trump today announced that he would not be moving into the White House after his Inauguration, but would instead be renting it out on a daily, weekly or  monthly basis.

Trump has stated that while he is President he will continue to reside in his luxury residences in New York City and Florida.  At a press conference Mr. Trump advised that "when I am in Washington, I will be staying in my new great hotel, it is the best, believe me."

When asked how he could conduct  the business of this country from remote locations he answered as follows: "I am the business of the United States. It comes to me."

As to his plans for who may occupy the White House and the terms and conditions of any rental, the real estate mogul took over: "Who wouldn't want to say that they had stayed in the Lincoln bedroom? It is almost unimaginable the money that I will be able to generate, especially during Christmas and when the cherry blossoms are in bloom."

"But who", a reporter from CNN inquired, "will the revenue go to?"

Mr. Trump responded as follows: "I will not answer that question, as you will only report fake news. And, just so you know, I will never release my tax returns as they are not for your prying eyes."

When pressed further, Mr. Trump, in a semi-shout exclaimed, "the money will be paid to a trust run by my son and all profits, after he takes his cut as trustee and I take mine as proprietor and manager of the establishment, will be donated to a charity run jointly by my wife and daughter."

So, if you are planning a trip to Washington DC this year, you might want to consider a stay in a residence that is more than 200 years old, with plenty of history attached to it. But please don't steal the bathrobes. It is a Federal offense.

PS -this is a fictional tale with sadly too much truth attached

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