Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Stories the White House Did Not Want to Tell You

Top 10 Stories of the Week - Second Edition

1. President Trump revealed that he thought the "one China" policy referred to how many children each family could have.
2. Sources confirmed that Mr. Trump recently acquired a large parcel of property in the West Bank where Israeli settlements threaten to expand. The White House denied that a Trump hotel and golf course is under consideration.
3. Michael Flynn has taken a post within the Putin administration as chief keeper of secrets.
4. A second case of voter fraud was found in Texas. Governor Greg Abbott said he only meant to vote once but his finger got stuck on the button while he was in the polling booth.
5. Climate change deniers point to the massive snowfall in the western United States as clear evidence that the planet is not warming. In related news, an iceberg was seen floating in the Hudson River with six bewildered seals holding on for dear life.
6. Rick Perry and Ben Carson are rumored to be switching jobs. Mr. Perry reportedly stated he had accomplished everything he could in his present job and was eagerly awaiting new challenges.
7. Donald Trump has apparently stopped shaking Shinzo Abe or Abe Shinzo's hand (who can remember which name goes first with these foreign leaders). The Japanese Prime Minister was seen counting his fingers to make certain none were pilfered in the exchange.
8. Melissa McCarthy has been chosen to moderate the debate this Saturday between Alex Baldwin and President Trump.
9. Melania Trump smiled. Once.
10. The Great Wall of Mexico has been put on hold. President Trump was said to be cashing in his 401K  to try to pay for the initial construction costs.

1 comment:

Bruce said...

Was Michael Flynn, the now former National Security Advisor for three weeks, a Russian agent? Was he a dupe of Putin's operatives? Was he a potential target of blackmail? Does he know about any questionable contact by the Russian hierarchy of his former boss, Trump? If so, will he write a book about it?