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Sunday, September 2, 2018

If I Only Had a Brain

I would speak a little better
Read a book or write a letter
Stop drivin' you insane
I would stop all my tweetin', 
Stop behavin' like a cretin
If I only had a brain

I would sop up Keats and Plato
Or just stop bashing NATO
Maybe learn to fly my plane
I would start actin' nicer
Might even bring back Spicer
If I only had a brain

Oh I roar like a lion
But inside me I'm cryin'
Cause every little thing riddles me
Like one plus one, does it make three

Oh that Putin thinks he's so smart
But inside he has no heart
Oh he's drivin' me insane
I could shut up Mueller
Such a detestable fellow 
If I only had a brain

We could win the midterms easy
I might stop being sleazy
Might even cut my mane
But for now I'm a bad man
Just a really, really sad man 
Cause I don't have a brain

Oh I roar like a lion
But inside me I'm cryin'
Cause every little thing riddles me
Like one plus one, does it make three

That yellow brick road I'd sure find
The trip I know I'd not mind
Brave the wind or hurricane
Oh I'd be oh so clever,
Like Obama only better
If I only had a brain

Oh I'd be oh so clever
Like Obama only better 
If I only had a brain

COPYRIGHT 2018 ROBERT S. NUSSBAUM




7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious !

KS

Anonymous said...

Another gem!!! Bravo you!!!

EA

Anonymous said...

OMG this is your best work ever!!!!!!!

AM

Anonymous said...

YOU HAVE TO COPYRIGHT THIS IMMEDIATELY! SERIOUSLY! And then license it! The Capital Steps comedy show in DC would go nuts for this! F...in hilarious! Your best ever! 🌟🌟🌟🌟


JM

Charlotte said...

Ha ha ha
Very cleaver!
Sounds a bit like the the Scarecrow looking for a nonexistent wizard- only he believes! Same hair style, too!

Mark H. Schaeffer said...

Absolutely correct! Copyright this immediately Rob!

Brilliant!!!

Anonymous said...

The Best Lyrics Ever! Should be a midterm theme song. -Nat