Saturday, December 12, 2020

On the Anniversay of My Dad's Passing

 I am getting ready to light the memorial candle commemorating the anniversary of my dad's passing. It is the 41st time I will perform this difficult task.

Earlier this week, one of my cousins forwarded to our extended family a compilation of  their home videos that propelled us on a time travel to another era, a vastly different universe. There we met up with the distant past. In a year where memories are so much of what we carry with us, where the present is on forced hold and the future is agonizingly out of reach, we find ourselves reaching back for comfort and solace.

With a smile and a tear I was able to view my dad vibrant and filled with life, so playful with my mom, so tender with my sister as a baby (I only had a later cameo appearance as a teenager). There he was, in the early years with the same hairline I suffer from, but later on growing a full head of toupee, as he "modelled" his new look for an intrigued family.

My dad has been alongside me every day of the last 41 years but it is a vastly different feeling to be able to greet him "in person." I wrote down every place where he appeared on screen and sent a quick recap to my sister, my kids and her kids to give all the crib notes as to where they could find my dad waiting for them.

2020 vision has been disorienting for all of us. What we have seen this year is not what we ever envisioned in our wildest imagination, our worst nightmare. We are kept distant, physically and emotionally from those that give us strength, give us our resilience in the face of constant adversity. We wear masks but they can't hide what our hearts miss.

So my 2020 vision was made immensely better by the unexpected arrival of this video. And better still by having a few moments again with my dad. Just the two of us. Together once more.


Fran said...

super sweet and tender

Anonymous said...

A beautiful tribute to a man who has left a lasting mark on his son. So glad you have the video and the good memories. I think your dad is smiling down on you!


Anonymous said...

Uncle Dick has such a memorable face and disposition, that is easily and frequently conjured up — with great pleasure — when I think of you or our childhoods.


Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

Very special!
I know how you feel..
My Dad is always with me as well


Anonymous said...

Very sweet post. I'm so glad the video gives you joy!


Anonymous said...

This is beautiful, FC. I, too, have been moved beyond words by the film.


Anonymous said...

Your piece on the occasion of your Dad’s Jahrzeit was so moving. It gave real meaning to the words, “may his memory be a blessing.”


Anonymous said...

You continue to keep your Dad’s memory alive and express your love for him in such beautiful and meaningful ways.