Friday, April 15, 2022

Wordle (Today It Is a Four Letter Word)

 I lost today. But my defeat is under protest..

On guess number 3, I got all the letters correct and in the right order, save for 1. How was I to know there were more than 4 five letter words in the language I have chosen to speak (a/k/a the only one I speak) with the same first, second, third and fifth letters? But the inventor of five letter words knew it.  

For more than a decade, when it has been far too early to call, my first thoughts have been directed towards entertaining others with my pearls of wisdom. Ok, maybe more bombarding than entertaining and possibly more scraps of nonsense than pearls of wisdom, but you get the idea. But no more.

Now I have been kidnapped by this seemingly simple game. I am not one of those "I use the same first word every day" people. I am far too complex an individual, with far too many 5 letter words at my disposal, to resort to that trick. After all, I graduated from a private high school (ok, maybe in the bottom half of my class). And no, I don't always pepper my first word with as many vowels as can fit in a phone booth. Although, possibly I should.

I am given a Pavlovian treat on those rare early mornings when I am able to uncover the secret of the universe in but two tries. "Great" or "impressive" or some other superlative my reward for my act of pure genius. 

But as I move down the food chain, with attempts 3, 4, 5 and, on occasion, the dreaded 6, my ego sags and I begin to question the value of my life. If the last effort should fail, it feels as if I should be reciting some dark Shakespearean sonnet.

Each day, upon completion of my task, whether ending in ignominious defeat or glorious victory, I announce the results to my children, my son in law and two friends whom I have chosen worthy of the honor of being advised as to the level of my brain power. I am quite sure they are thrilled to get this information as the first thing to greet them when they awaken.

I could never figure out a Rubik's cube. I am far too limited a person to succeed at crossword puzzles. I watch Jeopardy every night and the lack of information swirling around my head never ceases to astound me.

But I have a fighting chance at Wordle. It is like the perfect bed in Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Just right. Five letters reaching the absolute limit of the capacity of the cells in my cerebral cortex.

So when I lose in the manner as I did today, it stings. Badly. My running stats show my win streak is now broken (I still count as victories those two times earlier this week when I had to call on my wife to bail me out on guess #6, because I had obviously "teed it up" for her, and I was just a bit too weary to climb that last hill). I must begin again, from the bottom rung, next morn.

"Tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace." "Alas poor Yorick." "To be or not to be."

My son has just reported back that he succeeded in but 3 tries today. And my daughter is guilty of piling on as she now has advised she too required but 3 efforts to hit paydirt.

Like daggers to my heart.


Anonymous said...
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Bruce said...

It’s a damn shame what they’re doing

Anonymous said...

Very funny today.


Anonymous said...

It is no xxxxx to lose. I had the exact same experience. I don't xxxxx every day but guessed it anyway. I always sit in the xxxxx. And I am not very good xxxxx. But I can still xxxxx it up.


(Editor's note - this is a very clever reply by someone who had the same frustrating experience as I did today. The first xxxxx is the correct answer to today's Wordle. The remaining xxxxx are the other choices which he guessed)

Anonymous said...

My sentiments exactly. I had 4 letters -3 in the right place after 2 tries and then needed all six tries – what a xxxxx! I compare notes with our daughter in law even while she is traveling in Italy.


Anonymous said...

Yes it is frustrating when you got 4 and need that 5 th
I’m sure you know this - but I compile all the letters it might be, find a word using all those letters to narrow it down.


Anonymous said...

I notice how people are obsessed w Wordle. They post the fact that they won, or lost, on FB, Insta and everywhere. Why is that?

Statistically, I have done the Times Crossword every day since the summer of 1974, about 17,500 puzzles, and other than immediate family I have not felt the need to broadcast my success. Even those days I finish in less than 7 minutes, (Monday) or miss a word or two (Saturday, but rarely).

Must be some game that Wordle. P

Anonymous said...

What a SHAME!


Editor's note - this is one of the two friends I daily subject to the reports of my triumph or failure