About

Sunday, June 19, 2022

Dad

 My children never met my father. He died over a year before my wife and I welcomed our first born into the universe.

And while I have tried to keep my dad alive with stories of who he was and what he meant, what he means, to me, those tales end when my sister and I are no longer here. What then becomes of him?

I fear his immediacy will disappear. The sense that he is still able to shape thinking, to influence decisions, to have a say in the outcome of an event in which his position is persuasive, or at least instructive. WWMDD, what would my dad do, no longer part of the lexicon.

There is a sadness for me in that. While I know that one day people will speak of me in the past tense, I do not feel any urgency that humanity be guided by me in my absence. But I believe there will be a great loss when my dad's voice fades.

I understand there is a tendency on my part, and on my sister's, to wash away any of the foibles that were part of dad's makeup. The areas where one could argue he fell short of perfect. But do I really have to recall cranky moments in traffic, or any other peccadilloes? For me, and for so many like me, who are today paying homage to our fathers, we can be forgiven if we only recall the best that was offered.

Whatever good my children and my grandchildren take from me is because I am no more than a vessel passing on the lessons I learned at my father's knee. My best but a shadow of his.

And while my grandchildren will never tell stories about my dad, maybe all is not lost, if what he instilled in me somehow takes root in them. If what I found so breathtaking, what I tried to remember and to emulate, can become part of their makeup.

If that occurs then maybe my dad will continue to exist even after the immediate memories are no longer. At least I know that is the fervent hope of my sister and me on this Father's Day.
 

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful😘

LB

Anonymous said...

Beautiful

JAM 924

Anonymous said...

your dad would be very proud of you and your family

LOIS

Anonymous said...

Great story, FC

DD

Anonymous said...

Very poignant

JK

galngotham said...

Beautiful tribute to your dad who I'm sure was as wonderful as you remember him to be!

Anonymous said...

Lovely remembrance of your Dad who is definitely a great role model and don’t ignore DNA for future generations!

Bob

Anonymous said...

Beautiful

SL

Marica Allar said...

The love he gave you has already been passed down. What a great man he was.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful comment

Anonymous said...

Beautiful!

Anonymous said...

You are way too humble!

JS

Anonymous said...

Such a nice way to pay tribute to Uncle Dick. Made me think of Max in the same terms. Thanks for expressing things so perfectly.

MV

Anonymous said...

Nice

RR

Anonymous said...

You are a painter of life, of memories and your craft with words is a song. Thank you for sharing. Through your writing today, I, too, know your Dad. 🥲❤️

NC

Anonymous said...

As always - beautifully said.
And yes, I can relate.

LH

Anonymous said...

Happy Father’s Day!
SCL

Anonymous said...

I know how he feels cause I feel that way too!! I often say …. As my Mom would say or As my Dad would say. My children and grandchildren get a feeling of who they were …. and I feel good remembering them and the things they said and did!!!

JB

Anonymous said...

So beautiful. Your grandchildren will know him through your marvelous gift of words. --RE